Somewhere Within The Last Year...

Let me take you into a place that is personal, vulnerable:
I've lost the sense of and the desire for intimacy with ONE Person in my life that is constant. And I played it off as one of those "dry" seasons but it's been way to long now to say that this season is still in play. I haven't been doing anything, and it's the inaction on my part that is to blame. Somewhere there I lost the motivation to get out and grow more. I lost a sense of hope and trust, and the only thing I do know is that He still loves me -- as whacked out as I am right now, He still does. And here I am on a Sunday morning -- despite knowing that all I have to do is seek Him with all my heart -- I am writing my frustrations with myself on a blog, instead of pressing into the very presence that I know will bring deliverance to my spirit. Goodness. It's like it's there and I refuse to take -- refuse to want it. But deep in the back of my head, deep within my heart, I do. I do want it. I want this relationship to be restored and I'm sick of it being all talk. God is not something on my to-do list that I can just get back to when the time is convenient. I want to put action behind this talk that rides through longer than a day or two. I'm sick of my inconsistencies, and the ways I've treated this relationship.

Forgive me.
________________________
I will wait upon You. Lay all I am at your altar. I lift my hands before you. My whole life I surrender. I lay down these dreams of mine for You. Come fill this space I leave for you. More of You in me, I can't get enough. Your love is all I need, Your eternal touch. Don't leave me as I am, I am yours. Forever. Your words are living in me. Transform my life forever. You're more real than I ever dreamed. I found my hope in Your presence.
House Red -Don't Leave Me As I Am.